Three wittle words
March 1, 2010 by Leah M. Charney
Filed under Dating and Other Bad Habits, Relationships
“Thanks doll. Me wuv you,” the text message read.
I read it again. Then I scooted the phone across the table to my friend The Captain. He read it and spit sushi out of his mouth.
The man on the other end of the offending phone is not and never has been my boyfriend. We went on one date. One. His message confuses me. Why is he telling me this? Why is he saying it like that!?
It’s been a long time since anyone told me “I love you” in a romantic sense. But no one, ever, has said or written it in baby talk. “Me wuv you” is like a bad car accident — I couldn’t stop re-reading that text. Thinking about it. Telling everyone about it. Trying to figure out what it meant and why it was sent.
Scott Halzman is a professor at Brown University in the department of psychology and human behavior.
“I think the purpose of baby talk is to protect the sender from rejection or embarrassment,” he says.
I see his point, but after one date? I’m concerned that this guy thinks I find baby talk sexy, or is perhaps confusing me with his 6-year-old child, or, or, or? I tell Dr. Halzman about the sappy text message and how it perplexes me.
Halzman agrees, “People look forward to sex with adults, not infants, so baby talk can dampen the sex drive.”
Talk about an understatement.
I want to be loved, but not “wuved.”
— Leah M. Charney
Contact Charney at lcharney@womensmag.com and www.datingandotherbadhabits.com.
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