Relationship Rescue: How to talk to men in the workforce
March 1, 2010 by Audrey Nelson
Filed under Relationships
Nelson
Just look at a man listening to a woman who is rambling on. He enters the trance, kind of like a dog staring at a fan. He looks dazed and confused. His eyes seem to beg, “Why is she telling me all of this needless information? Just tell me ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ woman!”
During one seminar, a man used that old saying, “You ask a woman what time is it, and she tells you how to build a clock!” Do we have a gender gabber dilemma here?
Sayings such as “Get to the point” and “What is the bottom line?” are borne out of male culture. Women are more process oriented. They want to share their stories and provide the details that they think make the stories rich. Women want to go on more than men want to hear. Simple as that.
Switch It Up!
If you tend to be a ramblin’ kind of woman, we recommend speaking in pyramid style. When a man asks a question, begin your answer with a one-word or one-sentence explanation. Imagine this as the top of the pyramid, the smallest part. Good. You’ve given him what he wants: direct and to the point.
Now, if you must elaborate, shorten your descriptive explanation by half. Finish with silence. If he wants you to go on, he will ask for it.
— By Audrey Nelson
Nelson, of Boulder, is a communication consultant, trainer, keynote speaker and author. Check out www.audreynelson.com. Contact Nelson at 303-448-1802 or audrey@audreynelson.com.
This column was inspired by a chapter in “Code Switching.”
Why do you have to single out women, here? I don't think perpetuating gender stereotypes is very progressive in a so-called Women's publication.
The point is: I know SOOOO many men who ramble on.