Dating through the decades
March 4, 2010 by admin
Filed under Relationships
How dating in college has changed throughout the years
Bev and Bill Spotz
From her 1961 Billboard hit, Patsy Cline sang, “You want me to act like we’ve never kissed, you walk by, and I fall to pieces.” The Marvelletes pleaded, “Please Mr. Postman, look and see if there’s a letter in your bag for me.”
Nearly 50 years later, lyrics about “disco sticks,” womanizers and naughty nights in Vegas fill the pop music airways.
As music portrays, the dating scene has changed drastically — such a metamorphosis that the romance of the past has little affiliation with hookups of today. From kisses to she-wolves, from love letters to text messages, from falling to pieces to love drunk, college-age dating has transformed into an unrecognizable culture from that of previous decades.
See how the popular nuisances of dating culture have changed through the decades in the opinions of these local men and women.
1961: Coke dates and chaperones
The first time Bev Spotz met Bill, he arrived at her sorority house to take out one of her friends.
“You had to call on the intercom when someone came to pick you up,” Bev Spotz says. “My friend wasn’t ready, so I went downstairs to tell whoever it was that she’d be a few minutes. I went back upstairs and said, ‘Who is that who’s picking you up? He’s so cute!’”
Later, that same friend introduced Bill and Bev and left them alone to finish their “Coke date.”
As Bill Spotz, now 67, of Boulder, recalls, “A Coke date is an afternoon date to see if you like each other — very non-committal.”
The two met in 1961 at Iowa State University’s student union. Their Coke date allowed them to chat and see if their personalities matched.
“We started dating almost immediately and got pinned and unpinned 11 times,” Bev Spotz, 69, says.
Pinning, associated with the collegiate Greek system, symbolizes a couple’s commitment. As for their 11 unpinnings, the Spotzes say they cleansed all the fights out of their system before marriage.
Other characteristics of ‘60s dating: A sense of a looming Big Brother of chaperones and limitations. In the dorms, girls trotted back at 10 p.m. to make curfew. No boys had permission to walk upstairs to the second floor to the girls’ bedrooms. Conversations occurred in the lobby or living room.
Instead of bar hopping and beer pong, for entertainment, the Spotzes danced, attended ballgames, strolled on long walks and visited each other’s families.
1985: Cliques and house phones
Andreas and Paula Gerthe, both 40, of Lafayette, met in Boulder in front of The Sink, formerly known as Herbie’s Deli, in 1985. Three weeks later they were engaged.
“I didn’t date a lot. I was very selective. I always thought that I will only date a girl if I can see myself marrying her,” says Andreas Gerthe.
Paula Gerthe says she knew after one week that he was the one.
The couple feels like the dating scene then was similar to today — except a few vital differences.
“There were a lot of cliques; if you were a jock, you dated a jock. If you were in the band, you dated someone in the band,” Andreas Gerthe says.
Then there’s technology. In the ‘80s, the only phones people used were connected to cords and no one had heard of the Internet. Online dating didn’t exist. Neither did Facebook or text conversations.
“When guys use technology, it really takes away the personal aspect,” Andreas Gerthe says.
Dating intentions have also become clouded, Paula Gerthe says.
“We also didn’t do the coffee thing. We went out for dinner; it was specific and intentional,” she says.
2010: Facebook chat and texting woes
The social demands of the modern relationship may be outpacing the most technologically connected generation yet, according to some local college students.
“It must have been nice in the older days when people didn’t have text messaging and all that kind of stuff, because it just seems like everything was so much more genuine,” says 20-year-old Cassie Owens, of Lakewood.
She thinks dating has become fast-paced, yet less straightforward.
According to Dorian-Michelle Smith, a 20-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, “You’re overly dependent on communicating all the time. If you don’t get a message from that person within 24 hours you feel like, ‘What is this? Are they trying to just blow me off?’”
Messages sent through texting or Internet chats can be easily misconstrued, she says. Sarcasm can be easily mistaken for an insult, or a serious question can be taken as a joke. Facebook chat has become the new way to ask someone out.
“There are 1,000 ways to communicate,” she says.
Owens and Smith both wish that dating in their age group would slow down a little and revert to earlier dating traditions: a simple dinner and a movie.
“Our whole culture of dating has changed. We don’t go out on real dates anymore,” Smith says.
— By Caroline Seib, Meghan Tschanz and Kate Klein
On the Web
Want more on this topic? Check out www.findingbeausinboulder.wordpress.com.
Here, you can see a multimedia slideshow of dating in the college scene (“A sneak peek inside the college dating scene”) and a video interview with the Gerthes.
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