The working woman

Men have befallen a whopping 82 percent of the job losses since the recession started, according to a New York Times article. Male-dominated fields, such as construction and manufacturing, were hit especially hard.

 

 

On the other hand, women, who are more often employed in fields that slipped under the layoff cutting block — such as health care and education — have seen few changes in their careers.

Some experts say these forced changes in the workforce could have serious, potentially lasting, effects on American society: on family structure, on gender roles and on how men and women see themselves.

Gender roles: a changing landscape
Whether or not you agree with it, the “working man” concept is so deeply entrenched in the definition of masculinity that, in Audrey Nelson’s words, “Men suffer more psychologically than women do.” Nelson is a Boulder-based gender expert and trainer and author of multiple books on gender communication in the workforce.

She cites research from the Journal of Health Economics, among other sources, that shows after a man loses his job or even retires, if he does not find replacement work within five years — sometimes as early as three — men often suffer a major physical or medical ailment, like a heart attack. Cancer is significantly increased for male retirees in the United Kingdom.

Women can also get confidence from work, but they also tend to tap more into relationships, garnering self-worth from their families and children. Often, women brag about their children with the same fervor that a man might gloat over a pay raise, Nelson says.

Furthermore, a poll by the Rockefeller Foundation found that women now earn 57 percent of the college degrees nationwide, and make 75 percent of the buying decisions in the home.

The current shift could help better balance out the workforce for women, some say. And despite the blow for laid-off men, some women seem pleased with their new position of power, according to Dennis Mead-Shikaly, of Boulder, a men’s coach and counselor who has been doing gender work for 25 years.

This isn’t the first time gender demographics in the workforce have changed. Except with the Women’s Movement, it was a choice. Same with the increasing number of men who choose to be stay-at-home fathers. But today’s sense of powerlessness — where men are forced out of the workforce and can’t find an entrance back in — can be dangerous.

This can lead to resentment on both sides of the gender coin, Nelson says.

“I believe even though women say, ‘I’m all for equality,’ they still have the expectation that their husbands should be out there making a dime. Even if he’s been laid off and is looking for jobs, she might be passive-aggressive,” Nelson says. “When we talk about these traditional sex roles, it’s not just men who buy into them. Women buy into them, too.”

What to do
Be aware of gender boundaries — and how they are increasingly more outdated, but nonetheless difficult to penetrate.

Realize what is happening, and that you are not alone. Push past that resistance, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If a man in your life has been laid off, offer help. The worst thing is to be dismissive, with statements like, “Get over it.”

“Be aware that this man is going through a very deep and painful change. Like any sensitive, loving person, give them space to have their feelings without taking it personally,” Mead-Shikaly says.

Draw emotions out of him and encourage him to find someone to talk to, such as an issue-specific men’s group, coach or counselor. Talking in a non-hierarchical circle can be healing.

“Women don’t realize how much pain men carry in their bodies,” Mead-Shikaly says. “I’ve worked with thousands of men. The grief that lives in men’s bodies is like a river. I’ve had so many men say to me, ‘I’m afraid if I start to cry, I may never stop.’ When we isolate and internalize, all we do is add torrent to that river.”

— By Aimee Heckel

 

By the numbers

10.1 million — Firms nationwide that are 50 percent or more owned by women.
13 million — People are employed by these businesses.
$1.9 trillion — Sales generated by these businesses as of 2008.
One in five — Businesses with revenues of $1 million or more are owned by a woman.
Nearly half — Of the American workforce is women.
76 percent — Of Americans say it’s positive for society that women are half of the workers.

But still …
77 cents — Is the amount women earn to every dollar men earn.
15 companies — On the Fortune 500 list were run by women executives in 2008.
86 percent — Of women say they do the majority of the housework and childcare.
67 percent — Of working women sacrifice lunch to squeeze in other activities.

Sources: Center for Women’s Business Research, The Shriver Report, Working Mother magazine.

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