If tomorrow never comes
March 1, 2010 by admin
Filed under Inside You
Felix
And neither do you. I think everyone knows this but no one wants to talk about it.
During the next year, I will live my life as if it were my last.
The first challenge in doing this is setting up my legacy: If I knew I was going to die soon, how would I prepare my children? I want to teach my kids that we all die and that the world does not end when any one of dies. Including me.
Why do we wait to talk about death with our kids until the last possible moment?
HospiceCare of Boulder and Broomfield Counties (www.hospicecareonline.org) can help us talk about death with children. Hospice has resources for preparing and dealing with end-of-life issues. There are Healing Circles to help after a death and a Healing With Horses program to guide children as they deal with a family member’s terminal illness.
Don’t miss an opportunity to teach our children that everything is temporary. We often are our children’s first teachers when it comes to grieving. They take these lessons and can use them throughout their lives to deal with the inevitable losses.
I imagine that if I knew I was dying, I would drift in and out of consciousness, forget to stay present. I could create a recipe for death: plan the funeral, write my obituary and have last conversations with loved ones.
But perhaps it is the dying part that is easy. It’s the living part that is difficult.
Living with the responsibility to live life fully, say what needs to be said, be the best you can be — that’s hard.
After looking at my children as if it were the last time, I want to breathe in their smell and memorize every detail of their bodies. Feel the joy and in the same moment acknowledge the pain that comes when I realize that some day my child will probably bury me.
Walk toward the pain as if it were the light. This is big. This is your only chance to get it right. Or die trying.
— By Cheri Felix
Felix, of Boulder, writes a regular column, “If tomorrow never comes,” about her challenge to live 2010 as if it were her last. Contact her at oneyeartolive@ymail.com.
