How to help downsize your parents’ home

At almost 60, my mom fell in love.

I’m talking about the “We’re announcing our engagement” kind of love. It’s been tender to watch and sweet to be around. Mushy words of unbridled affection and constant (excessive) flattery.

With this new love, she needs some new space; he’s moving in as fast as he can install his flat screen. To help out, my sister and I drove to St. Louis for the adventure of clearing out my mom’s clutter.

Many of us have parents who need to downsize their homes for one reason or another. If we’re lucky, they work with us while they still can. If not, the burden of cleaning up after our parents also comes with decisions that we’re not sure about. Or worse, having to make these decisions after they’ve passed away, at a time when we’re filled with grief and loss; we keep everything because it all seems too important or sentimental.

Here are some tips on how to clear out your parents’ home:

1. Depending on how long ago you lived there, make sure to get your stuff out first (i.e. 13 years of yearbooks, framed diplomas and a pair of colorful wool socks that should have stayed in year 1996). If you’ve already done this over the years, count yourself ahead of the game.

2. Coach your parents on what to pass onto someone else. Do they love it, use it or need it? If yes, keep it. If no, pass it on. Challenge them on this step, because they might want to keep a lot more than they’ll ever take care of or use.

3. Remove the stuff. Here are ways how:

• Bring it home with you. When my sister and I took something, our mom felt great about letting it go. It not only had a home, but one that was in the family. Our mom knew now we’d make sure to do the right thing with it. Maybe.

• Have an estate-sale professional come over and evaluate your “give away” pile for expensive items. We invited one over after we had a huge pile sorted in “not valuable” and “possibly valuable.” We asked her if she would like to buy anything for her next sale. She did. Mom was paid and the stuff was gone.

• We’re lucky because Boulder has a few consignment shops for all the valuable items your parents can part with, and trust me, your parents will feel better about giving up the family chest if they’re getting cash for it. Do note that you’ll need to either have a good photo (of heavy furniture) or bring in the item (family silver) for any of the below shops’ approval, before they’ll agree to sell the item.
Feather Thy Nest, 1825 Pearl St.
No Place Like Home, 3550 Arapahoe Ave. (furniture only)
Clutter, 1909 Ninth St., suite 130

In St. Louis, we found a similar shop, The Little Shop Around the Corner, that “paid” you with a tax write-off instead of check in the mail.

• Schedule a pick up from a thrift store, such as the Salvation Army, Goodwill or ARC. You already have enough to do, so make this step easy. Call to schedule a pick up, and a thrift store worker will bring a truck to you and load it. Check out www.satruck.com. Tip: Make sure to be explicit about the volume of items.

• Put items on Craiglist.org or Freecycle.org. The downside: Trying to coordinate meetings with people. I suggest you say on the ad, “Come by Saturday from 10 a.m. to noon if you want to see this item.” Set a time so you’re not scheduling Joe Smith to see your old TV 6 p.m. Tuesday, but then he calls to reschedule. Or set items on your porch or driveway for free: “Free TV on my driveway. Here’s my address, come and get it.”
With any Internet posting, make sure to take it down immediately after the item is sold or taken. It’s highly annoying to have people show up when the item has been sold.

On our last day of cleaning out my mom’s place, a family friend showed up with a gift for my sister and me: two Princeton yearbooks from the year our dad graduated. He said he acquired the books for genealogy work he was doing.

When he passed these heirlooms to us he said, “Don’t let me find this at The Little Shop tomorrow.” He knows me too well!

Get some help
Throughout the month of September, Liz Canavan will offer Women’s Magazine readers a free, one-hour, in-home assessment of your parents’ home.

— By Liz Canavan
Canavan, of Boulder, is a professional organizer with Alchemy of Order and the marketing director of the National Association of Professional Organizers. Got questions on how to simplify your life? Contact her at 303-641-4760, liz@alchemyoforder.com or www.alchemyoforder.blogspot.com.

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