I would have thought 20 years was too much until my uncle married someone 20 years his junior and they are the perfect match. And they’ve been together more than 10 years now.  
— Danika Carter, of Colorado Springs

Beyond the age of consent. It’s not the age that’s important, it’s the maturity within the individuals involved.
— Karen Adams Charney, of Littleton

Doug and I are 15 years apart, and I like it that way!  
— Sarah Langbein Cohen, of Broomfield

My 50-something bachelor friend Paul says it’s a strict formula: half your age plus six.  
— Marian Rothschild, of Boulder

Does age really matter when it comes to love?
If we’re very blessed, we know love from the moment we take our first breath until the instant we take our last breath. “Love” encompasses so many things.

I have a feeling when most people read that question, the first thing that popped into mind was romantic love. But that’s only one kind of love in our vast and wonderful lives.  Does age matter?  Only in the sense that love becomes better because we hopefully become wiser as we age and love becomes more all-encompassing.

I may not have romantic love in my life right now. But at 62 years of age, I’ve known it — and treasure the memories.  As I do of the parental love I was blessed with. The love of best girlfriends who, giggling, shared secrets and dreams for our futures.  I still share that love with some of those long ago treasured friends.  I know sibling love, thanks to my brother, and that blesses me daily, as does the love of my niece and nephew. And the love of present day friends.

But love isn’t restricted to feelings between people.  What about the love that is shared between animals and humans?  Some of the purest most unconditional love I’ve ever known has been shared with my pets.  And how about the love of art?  Of reading?  Of journaling?  Of handwork?  I recently went to see a performance of “Riverdance” and the love that was shared between the audience and the performers was palpable and at times had me in tears for the sheer joy of it.

Yes, love takes many forms, and if we’re truly blessed as we age, we become more aware of its many guises and embrace them all!
— Donna Hoff, of Longmont

Next month: Do you have a fashion or home DIY tip to share? E-mail it  to speakup@womensmag.com.

My dad really liked to do clever stuff. One year, he pre-recorded a message from Santa and put it next to the chimney. There was a bunch of blank tape first so while we were opening presents and the whole family was in the room, Santa started talking and told me and my sister about hidden presents in the garage. I was old enough to know better, and I still believed.
— Mary Casey II, of Boulder

Doing yoga after a huge meal in my star pajamas. My sisters started making fun of me, because I’m the “weird” one. While my legs are over my head, my sister draws a face on my back and starts making dialogue, and I start wiggling around, making the face talk. Before you know it, my sisters and mom are laughing so hard at my “pillow person” back that the neighbors come over to see what is going on. That was the best Christmas ever with my sisters and mom.
— Tara Page, of Boulder

Next month: Does age really matter when it comes to love? Send your thoughts to speakup@womensmag.com.

Lettuce wraps
In large fry pan, stir-fry 1 pound diced free range chicken, onions, garlic, carrots and basil. Season to taste. Add one can of drained black beans. Scoop mixture into lettuce leaves and serve.
– Ellen Mahoney, of Boulder

My fave standby for a crowd is my vegan pasta with pesto. Serves six.
1 pound spiral or any kind of noodles you prefer, cooked (99 cents)
1 bunch/bag/box fresh basil ($2.49)
1 handful fresh chopped parsley (50 cents)
1/2 to 2/3 cup olive oil ($1)
6 tablespoons nutritional yeast flakes ($1)
4 large cloves garlic, chopped (33 cents)
3/4 teaspoon sea salt (pennies)
1/2 cup pine nuts (about $3, or to cut costs, use chopped walnuts instead)
Combine all ingredients except for pine nuts in a food processor or blender. Pour over hot, drained pasta. Add nuts and serve. I like to serve with roasted red peppers on the side. This freezes incredibly well and its always a crowd pleaser.
Total cost $9.31.
– Reba Sparrow, of Portland, formerly of Loveland

Tonight we are having French toast for dinner. That is certainly under $10, even if you have sausage or bacon with it.
Or grilled cheese with tomato soup.
– Karla Rinehart, of Richmond, VA, formerly of Loveland

Crock pot taco soup
Two chicken breasts
One can of black beans
One can of diced tomatoes
One can of corn
One can of diced green chills (4 ounces)
One packet of taco seasoning
Put everything in the crock pot in the morning and dinner’s ready when you get home from work. Fast, cheap and easy.
– Kirsta Britton, of Windsor

My favorite recipe is lentil soup with kielbasa (any sausage is possible, even that turkey kind but I’m from Pennsylvania and so partial to kielbasa).
2 cups water for every cup of lentils (This is a no-soak version. You can use half the water for a 4- to 8-hour pre-soak, drain, rinse and then cook in the remaining water.)
Bay leaf
Garlic (as much as you want)
Onion (as much as you want)
Salt
Cayenne (if desired)
White wine vinegar
Oil
In a big pot, warm a teaspoon of oil and then sauté the onion until clear. Cut the kielbasa into silver-dollar chunks and sauté until browned. Add the garlic, sauté one more minute. Add water, lentils, salt (about three pinches per cup of lentil), bay leaf. Add the kielbasa. Cook several hours, add water as needed. Top with a dash of white wine vinegar.
– Mary Casey II, of Boulder

Cheap, fast and easy to make without going to the store. Kids love it.
Spaghetti carbonara
1 pound spaghetti noodles. I use whole wheat. ($3.75)
6 slices of bacon, crumbled. Or you can use real bacon bits. No Bacos, please. ($1.50)
1 cup grated parmesan cheese. ($2 if you use fresh, even less if you use the kind in the canister.)
1/2 cup milk, cream or half and half (50 cents at most)
3 eggs (75 cents)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
Boil noodles ’til al dente. In a large bowl, combine cheese, milk or cream, and eggs. Beat until well combined. When pasta is nearly finished cooking, remove the pasta from the water with tongs and place the pasta directly into the bowl with the egg, cheese and milk. Working quickly, mix well to combine. The heat from the hot pasta will cook the eggs and create a rich, creamy sauce. If it gets too thick, add 1/4 cup of the pasta water to loosen the sauce. Add bacon, salt and pepper, mix and serve.
This is also good with frozen peas added. Cook the peas with the pasta for about five minutes, Proceed as directed.
– Brooke Vander Wal, of Loveland

Not positive it’s under $10, but it’s close.
Easy Greek salad
Combine romaine lettuce, onions, grilled chicken breast, croutons. Then put Ken’s Italian Dressing on it and add feta cheese.
So freaking good. We eat it, like, three times a week. And once you have the ingredients, you can just eat it all week until it’s gone.
– Jessica Morgan, of Denver

This is my soon-to-be mother-in-law’s recipe. It sounds really weird, especially the name, but it is really good.
Ki-Si-Ming
Cut up:
1/2 cabbage
2 stalks celery
2 medium onions
2 carrots
1/4 pound green beans (may use frozen)
Toss and simmer in one ounce or more of butter
Add one pound of browned ground beef, then add:
1 tablespoon curry
1 packet chicken noodle soup mix
2 cups boiling water
1 teaspoon salt
Dash of pepper
Soy sauce to taste
Cover and simmer 30 minutes. Serves 6 to 8. Don’t know if it’s all under $10, but it’s close.
– Tevin Bookout, of Brighton

This is our favorite meal and it’s extremely healthy at the same time. I always make it with homemade whole wheat flax bread and I’ve included that recipe, as well.
Best damn butternut squash soup recipe known on Earth
1 onion
4 cloves of garlic (pressed or minced)
1 medium to large butternut squash
1 potato
1 sweet potato
2 to 4 celery stalks
2 carrots
1 apple
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 quart (or so) free-range chicken broth
2 to 3 tablespoons curry powder (your favorite kind, mine is the Frontier brand and can be found in the Fred Meyer bulk or at Whole Foods bulk)
1 to 2 teaspoons coriander (ground coriander seed)
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Salt and pepper to taste
Peel, core and chop all the vegetables. Using a large stock pot, over high/medium heat, sauté onion, garlic and celery in olive oil. Add remaining vegetables and butter. Grind salt over the pot and sauté until fragrant (about five minutes).
Pour in chicken broth (with water, if needed) to just barely cover the vegetables. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to simmer, and cover. Let simmer for 30 to 45 minutes or until vegetables are extremely soft. Blend in batches in a blender or food processor. Return to stock pot and add seasoning. You can add the seasoning while it’s simmering but it turns your food processor blade orange. I usually add the seasoning after while the soup is still hot and let it rest on the stove for the afternoon.

Must have bread (in a bread machine)
In this order, add ingredients to your bread machine (makes a 1 1/2-pound loaf)
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
3 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups bread flour (add extra 1/4 cup for high altitude)
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (finer grind is best)
3 tablespoons vital wheat gluten (not required but makes bread even better)
Make a well in the flour and add 1 1/2 teaspoons bread machine yeast 1/4 cup ground flax seed
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
Select the basic/white cycle as it’s faster. Use medium/light crust color. Remove baked bread from pan and allow to cool on a wire rack. Eat the bread within the first couple of days.

Not-so-healthy baked French toast with your leftover bread
4 to 6 slices of bread
2 to 4 tablespoons of butter (depending on how naughty you want to be)
3 tablespoons of honey
4 eggs
2/3 cup of apple or orange juice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 banana (optional)
Preheat oven to 375. Melt butter and honey in 9-by-13 baking pan while the oven preheats. Mix eggs, juice, cinnamon and salt in a shallow dish.
Once the butter is melted, remove from oven, swirl around. Slice the banana into the pan. Soak both sides of bread until soggy in egg mixture. Arrange in the baking pan and pop in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until brown. Turn over French toast to serve (banana on the top!). We usually eat with vanilla yogurt instead of syrup but do what you wish with it.
– Katrina Yancey, of Golden

Grilled cheese and tomato soup is cheap and easy! Under $5.
I am also a fan of tacos ($1.99 for hamburger; 99 cents taco seasoning; $1.50 taco shells) and then you can sprinkle with cheese and sour cream, tomato and lettuce. Knorr’s taco rice is yummy ($1.30) and a can of black beans (99 cents). Total: $7.
Or if you want to work at it, try this recipe for meatloaf.
1 to 2 pounds hamburger
Season with garlic powder, salt and pepper, onion powder and Worcestershire
Add 1/2 chopped onion
Add 2 to 3 pieces of crumbled bread (can be day old)
Mix in one egg
Make sauce: ketchup, brown sugar (1 tablespoon) and 1 teaspoon dry mustard.
Top meatloaf with sauce and then add throughout cooking.
Put in bread pan and bake at 350 degrees about 45 minutes.
Mashed potatoes: Either peel and boil 4 to 5 medium potatoes then add milk and butter and mix (a couple of tablespoons each).
Or a package of Betty Crocker seasoned mashed potatoes works just as well and costs less than $1.
Add a can of green beans: Less than $1.
And call it dinner!
– Tia Sauceda, of Erie

I do polenta (1 cup feeds at least four people and takes about five minutes to cook) topped with Boulder sausage (Italian), one jar of 365 pasta sauce and half a package of 365 frozen “stoplight” peppers.  This recipe also happens to be gluten-free.
– Christine Neff, of Boulder

I thought you might like my big pot recipe for chili pasta, a simple go-to standby that you can pack with vegetables, and just about anything you have in the house, including leftovers. Based on a Campbell’s soup recipe, it’s not the most elegant of dishes, but it’s inexpensive, easy-to-prepare and deliciously satisfying warmth and nutrition for winter nights.
Throw-it-all-in chili pasta
1-1 1/2 pounds lean ground turkey (or beef, or chicken)
1 chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups or 1 can cooked dark kidney beans
1 1/2 cups or 1 can cooked black beans
1 can low-sodium condensed tomato soup
1 can low-sodium diced tomatoes
2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
3 tablespoons chili powder
2 tablespoons vinegar
Assorted chopped vegetables (such as 1 green pepper, 1 red pepper, 1 zucchini, 1 carrot, according to what you have on hand)
2 cups whole grain macaroni or other pasta
3 cups water
1. In a large pot coated with cooking spray, brown turkey. Add onion and garlic and cook until tender. Stir to separate meat.
2. Add next eight ingredients through assorted vegetables. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 15-20 minutes.
3. Bring to a boil and add pasta. Reduce heat and cook 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until pasta is tender.
If you prefer, sap cooked pasta for dry and eliminate water.
– Wendy McMillan, of Longmont

Next month: What is your favorite holiday memory? Send your stories to speakup@womensmag.com.

My initial reaction is to say no, I’d never consider it. Recently, however, I’ve come to understand the temptation. Seeing the extent to which my body has changed after giving birth to my baby girl and breastfeeding her, I can totally see how plastic surgery becomes more attractive to people — the idea of paying someone to make me look like I used to sounds simple and quite tempting.

But when I consider the cost, risks, recovery and the basic idea of feeling pressure to cover up the marks and stretches left behind by such a beautiful process, I revert to my original conviction that such a process is unnecessary and can actually lead to more issues than it solves, both mentally and physically.
— Katy Clem, 27, of Louisville

Plastic surgery is fine. I have no problem with that. I had my nose done many, many years ago, and many of my girlfriends have had plastic surgery. I wouldn’t hesitate if I could afford it.
— Marlene Leirfallom, 64, of Boulder

There are things about yourself you’d like to improve, and some of them can’t be done through any other means than plastic surgery. So, yes, I would definitely consider plastic surgery.
— Louise Watson, 59, of Longmont

To be honest, I probably won’t ever get plastic surgery, but I’m not opposed to it. I perfectly happy with the way God made me, and I think the aging process is beautiful. But if I had half my face burned off, I would have a plastic surgeon recover as much of it as possible. I want to be an old lady with wrinkles.
— Juliet Kroll, 21, of Boulder

I’m from California and said no to it for a long time, but I came to Boulder and found more discrimination than I ever expected or ever experienced — and actually had thoughts about doing something to alter my body after encountering that here. And that’s just my experience. I’m newer to Boulder and you’d think that because I’m from California that it would just come naturally, but I’m from Northern California so it wasn’t natural to alter things. But, I actually considered it. Not realistically, but it crossed my mind that maybe I would be accepted better or discriminated against less if I were a different body type.
— April Clifton, 45, of Boulder

If it’s going to save a life or enhance somebody’s life, then that’s when I would do it. [For vanity reasons], I think that it’s overrated, and why people do it, I think, is unnecessary. It’s just to enhance looks, and I don’t agree with it.
— Sophie Aragon, 46, of Denver

Next month: What is your favorite recipe to feed a family a four for under $10? Share your recipes at speakup@womensmag.com.

I think so. It’s important to me to be remembered well and that I am afforded the luxury of thanking my loved ones for enriching my life. I’m not afraid of the “what’s next?” If anything, I fear the “Who’d I leave out?” The “What’d I miss?” The “Why’d I do or say that?”
For what it’s worth (for my personality type), closure is good.
— Amy Neill, of Boulder

No way! It’s one of those mysteries in life that should be left as a mystery. If you knew how you were going to die, it would divert your attention away from living your life because your focus would be on your death.
— Christine Spina Babbel, of Littleton

I prefer making choices how I am going to live.
— Marian Rothschild, of Boulder

Hell, no. I wouldn’t want to know! I don’t want to focus on anything more than the timeless extended moment I so fortunately find myself in every single day. And that is becoming more and more true the older I get. I appreciate it all so much. Knowing something about the future would take my attention off the present. And that’s part of what makes life so exciting — the possibilities that lie ahead and the things I’m doing right now!
— Bree Argetsinger, of Denver

Absolutely not. If you knew you were going to die in a car accident, how could you ever enjoy a car ride? Same with everything else.
— Melissa Wells, of Broomfield

Photo by Eric Laurtis

Would I want to know when I am going to die?

Funny that you ask. I have been thinking a lot about death lately, as my dog has cancer, and thus I recently picked up the “Tibetan Book on Living and Dying,” hoping I could garner some wisdom about how to make her passing as peaceful as possible. I don’t want to cling to her out of selfishness and thus extend her suffering. I want to act out of wisdom and compassion. Thus, my answer is informed by my past meditations on impermanence, and by the text I am currently studying.

I concur with Sogyal Rinpoche and the wisdom of his lineage when he insists we should live as if every breath could be our last, live every moment as if we might die tonight.

Some might contest, “But doesn’t this lead to a nihilistic, self-absorbed and hedonistic outlook and behavior?” And of course, without engaging in practice, it absolutely can.

As Rinpoche cautions, “What the masters must suspect is that there is a danger that people who have no strong belief in a life after this one will create a society fixated on short-term results, without much thought for the consequences of their actions. Could this be the major reason why we have created a brutal world like the one in which we are now living, a world with little compassion?”

Notice, though, that he highlights “no strong belief in life after death” as the root of the problem of lack of compassion. Thus, meditations on death and impermanence, when linked with a meditation practice where one investigates the nature of mind, and thus the nature of all, can also lead to great compassion and wisdom.

For me personally, my practice has made me realize that when I die, the only thing that will be left of my life is how I have affected the people around me, and thus the world, for as the teachings highlight, everything is subject to the law of dependant co-arising.

I am who I am because of a myriad of interlinking circumstances in my life, not because I am an independent being, a disconnected self. This holds true for all beings.

Thus I must ask myself, how am I going to treat the people around me, if we all create each other, and thus create our world, how am I going to behave? If we behave in a callous and self-absorbed manner, motivated by greed or jealousy, what kind of world are we going to create — not only for ourselves but for our children and those others we love?

However, if we attempt to live our lives motivated by compassion, wisdom and the desire to know and live truth, then our positive intentions and actions will spread out, like ripples on a pond.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many situations in my life where I have behaved in a less than compassionate manner, and if I were to die tonight I would carry the sadness of this knowledge with me (karma).
But the more I realize I could die at any time, or lose a loved one at any time, the more I am able to behave with love and compassion so as to not send any more negative ripples out into the world.

Of course, this is only the beginning of practice; eventually we must come to a space where we treat strangers and even those who have hurt us with compassion. But for me, the above meditations have been the first steps in my practice.

So, in short, would I like to know when I am going to die? No, I think it is more wise to live every moment as if we could die any second.

— Hollie Hirst, of Boulder

Next month: What is your opinion on plastic surgery? Would you ever get it? Why or why not? Share your thoughts at speakup@womensmag.com.

Cancer adventure.
Deal with it, woman. You can.
Challenge empowers.
— Patience Prugh Schram, of Longmont

Nearing a new life
I wait and try to hang on
It’s all happening
— Jessica Ryan, of Loveland

Always chasing time
Hoping to catch, hold, to savor
Breathe and exhale love
— Robin Truesdale, of Boulder

I shake and shake the ketchup bottle
None will come, and then a lot.
OK, that’s so not haiku, but it rocks
— Betty Boots, of Loveland

My life effing rocks
Excitement, trouble and fun
On track to the top

I make so much sense
Cocktails inflame me verbose
Flex, lexicon, flex!
— Bree Argetsinger, of Denver

Life is contracting
And rhythmically propelling
Giving birth to me.
— Cynthia Peterson, of Idaho Springs

Strength like no other
Women hold their possessions:
The world on their head.
— Lisa Jacquay, of Loveland (from Africa)

Next month: What is your opinion on plastic surgery? Would you ever get it? Why or why not? Share your thoughts at speakup@womensmag.com.

Knowing that being independent doesn’t mean being lonely. And learning that being independent changes through the ages and through your ages. Knowing that you don’t need to rebel to be independent. And learning new things to do with it all the time! For example, my granny learned to drive and to swim when she turned 40 because she hadn’t yet. Mind you, she was also a family planning nurse, so she worked hard for other women’s independence as well! Knowing that love needs working at and that companionship is as important as chemistry. That “new” isn’t always “better” and that old isn’t always tried, tested and reliable.
And, being happy with your boobs!
— Katherine Chamberlain, 31, England

Being completely comfortable in your own skin. Happy with who you are without any wish to change. Understanding of your limitations, but also cognizant of what makes you unique and worthy.
— Jessica Morgan, 31, Denver

An independent woman is someone who is comfortable within her own skin, someone who is open to the universe and what it has to offer as far as changes presented to our being. I believe too often we have the thought engraved into our minds that we are meant to be someone we are not supposed to be at all. So therefore, if we open our heart to every experience we encounter, it is then that we truly find our soul and who we are meant to be.
Too many of us “independent women” believe keeping our hearts guarded, not depending on the one’s we love and trust, becoming the ultimate career executive, or leaving behind our dreams and passions is the way to independence. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We find ourselves lonely and aimlessly wandering for who we are. I honestly have come to find that “just being,” trusting our gut, not forcing anything that has failed, excepting what “is” and what is not meant to be, is true independence.
— Andie Bettes, 30, of Aurora

Next month: How would you describe your life in haiku form?  For example:
Life is bananas. (Five syllables).
Layered, often slippery. (Seven syllables).
Always delicious. (Five syllables).

Or slightly more serious:

Hills, vales everywhere.
Emotions rise, and they fall.
Days of tears and smiles.

Share your responses at speakup@womensmag.com.

— Compiled by Aimee Heckel and Jessica Warnock

“Just do it: How one couple turned off the TV and turned on their sex lives for 101 days (no excuses!),” by Douglas Brown. Crown Publishing Group, 308 pp. $21.95.

Sex is more than a feeling.

In fact, just doing it may be the key to improving your relationship.

That’s what Boulder residents Doug and Annie Brown learned during a little “sex-periment” to have sex for 101 days in a row.

Doug Brown wrote about it in a book, “Just do it: How one couple turned off the TV and turned on their sex lives for 101 days (no excuses!).”

If you’ve been married for more than, oh, a month, you know about the excuses. Couples get caught up in the daily grind, work, the kids, the headache, washing the dishes, putting the dishes away, surfing the Web, reading enthralling women’s magazines. Whatever it is, there seems to be endless reasons to push the deed aside, says Annie Brown.

“This is happening to everyone in a long-term relationship, and if it’s not, they’re lying,” she says. “If they have a house or a garden or kids or want to eat every night, they’re lying.”

The sexathon was Annie Brown’s idea. (It wasn’t hard to convince her husband to agree, needless to say.)

And at the end of the 101 days, the Browns had a romantic revelation.

The chemistry of sexual chemistry

The “conversation four-play” before sex was the beginning of a deepening connection between the couple, they say.

“We were communicating better before we were having more sex,” Annie Brown says. “And we were having better sex because we were communicating about it more.”

They stopped feeling like roommates, parents or partners and felt more like lovers.

She says having so much sex made her feel affirmed and wanted, and feeling physically confident extended into her emotional and mental well-being.

Not to mention the physical and emotional vulnerability.

“It just permeates every pore of your emotional self,” she says. “There’s obviously a physical element about it, but a lot of women can’t have one-night-stands and let it roll off them.”

She says she realized that “sex is part of your consciousness, ever sinew in your body, and that’s why it’s so important in a relationship. It’s not just physical.”

She might be on to something, according to another author, Laura Sessions Stepp, who wrote “Unhooked: How young women pursue sex, delay love and lose at both.”

Stepp’s book cites studies that say — scientifically — it’s tough for women to have unemotional sex.

Oxytocin, the hormone connected with bonding and creating relationships, is released in both men and women during sexual climax. It’s also the same hormone released in women during childbirth and while breastfeeding.

For women, estrogen seems to enhance the feel-good effects of the hormone, according to Discover Magazine.

For men, testosterone can inhibit these warm-fuzzies, making it easier to love and leave, biologically.

Something spiritual

Still, Doug Brown says his experiment left him feeling closer to his wife. He says he didn’t feel as much anxiety to “perform” during sex. Plus, he says he felt more open, excited and they fought less. Note: People with raised levels of oxytocin don’t get as stressed out.

Other chemical changes occur during sex, as well. In addition to oxytocin, some studies show there’s also a boost in serotonin (involved with mediating moods and inhibiting pain), vasopressin (a hormone found to influence pair-bonding in prairie voles, although it hasn’t been proven yet in humans) and endogenous opioids (the body’s natural equivalent of heroine).

In other words, the physical experience after lustful sex might be similar to shooting up.

Of course, it’s not that simple, and there’s still a lot of unknowns about the chemistry of sexual chemistry.

But Doug Brown can vouch anecdotally.

“It’s a very powerful and unique act,” he says. “I think in the context of a relationship, it can really add an almost spiritual shine to the relationship.”

When he talks about the “spiritual” dimension of sex, he isn’t talking about religion, but rather something primal, something natural.

“There’s definitely an electricity. A sort of flesh-to-flesh electricity that happens,” he says. “We also found the more we did it, the stronger that electricity was. There’s something there beyond just kind of having sex. It is beyond just pure pleasure.”

The Browns recommend other couples try it out for themselves. OK, maybe not 101 days, Annie Brown says. That’s kind of ridiculous. But even just four days of quality sex.

“My guess is if you did it more, you’d probably feel more connected,” she says. “Try a ‘tune-up’ in a hotel away from your children to focus on yourselves.”

After all, doing something new and wild has its own a physiological affect: it boosts the level of dopamine, which also happens to be connected with feelings of romance.

That’s why couples feel all warm and lovey after going on vacation, or pick up a new hobby together.

Especially if that hobby involves 101 days of oxytocin-infused sex.

2 — Percent of married respondents said they had no sexual intimacy in the past year, according to one survey.

6.9 — More sexual encounters married people have per year than people who have never been married.

15 to 20 — Percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times per year.

20 to 30 — Percent of men say they have little or no sex drive.

30 to 50 — Percent of women say they have little or no sex drive.

40 — Percent of people who are rejected in love fall into clinical depression. This may be because feelings of romance cluster in parts of the brain with a lot of dopamine, a chemical that affects emotions.

50 — Percent increase in dopamine activity in the romance area of the brain for female prairie voles when they experience attraction.

69 — Times per year married couples say they have sex, on average. That’s slightly more than once a week.

Sources: U.S. National Health and Social Life Survey, Newsweek, USA Today, Psychology Today, www.livescience.com.

Last month, we asked you what you are thankful for. Here are your responses:

“I am thankful for the people who inspire art, healing and learning by being who they are, living by example and creating in their passion for all the world to share in. Every person that has graced me with their presence I am thankful for.”

— Tara Page, Boulder

“I am thankful for the lessons I have gone through in my life. Most of which have been really tough and challenging and have made me question whether I could go on or not. But all of it has shaped me in to the mother/manager/partner/friend that I am today. So I wouldn’t change anything for the world.”

— S. Masyn Moyer, of Boulder

“I’m thankful for sunshine and for my little brother, the word ‘coconut’ and big dogs. I’m thankful for the rain and good books; together they’re the best — as long as you’re inside, because I am not thankful for soggy books. Tattoos that show creativity and art that takes your breath away. High heels and chocolate cupcakes (with cream cheese frosting, mmm). Laughter and the sounds of smiles. Love, even though it always gets taken away. I’m thankful for the pain you feel when you lose someone, because without it they wouldn’t have meant anything at all. And without it you would be broken, unfeelable. I’m thankful for amazing music that gets stuck in your head until you love it so much that you hate it. I’m mostly thankful that I can be thankful of such amazing things. Some people don’t have that. Some are only thankful for food and shelter. Someday I want someone to be thankful that I brought others at least the feeling of one of the things I’m thankful for. I want to be thankful that I made someone else thankful.”

— MLE R. Evans, of Erie

For next month: What is your favorite holiday tradition?