Dennis Mead-Shikaly

On the other hand, women, who are more often employed in fields that slipped under the layoff cutting block — such as health care and education — have seen few changes in their careers.

Some experts say these forced changes in the workforce could have serious, potentially lasting, effects on American society: on family structure, on gender roles and on how men and women see themselves.

Gender roles: a changing landscape
Whether or not you agree with it, the “working man” concept is so deeply entrenched in the definition of masculinity that, in Audrey Nelson’s words, “Men suffer more psychologically than women do.” Nelson is a Boulder-based gender expert and trainer and author of multiple books on gender communication in the workforce.

She cites research from the Journal of Health Economics, among other sources, that shows after a man loses his job or even retires, if he does not find replacement work within five years — sometimes as early as three — men often suffer a major physical or medical ailment, like a heart attack. Cancer is significantly increased for male retirees in the United Kingdom.

Women can also get confidence from work, but they also tend to tap more into relationships, garnering self-worth from their families and children. Often, women brag about their children with the same fervor that a man might gloat over a pay raise, Nelson says.

Furthermore, a poll by the Rockefeller Foundation found that women now earn 57 percent of the college degrees nationwide, and make 75 percent of the buying decisions in the home.

The current shift could help better balance out the workforce for women, some say. And despite the blow for laid-off men, some women seem pleased with their new position of power, according to Dennis Mead-Shikaly, of Boulder, a men’s coach and counselor who has been doing gender work for 25 years.

This isn’t the first time gender demographics in the workforce have changed. Except with the Women’s Movement, it was a choice. Same with the increasing number of men who choose to be stay-at-home fathers. But today’s sense of powerlessness — where men are forced out of the workforce and can’t find an entrance back in — can be dangerous.

This can lead to resentment on both sides of the gender coin, Nelson says.

“I believe even though women say, ‘I’m all for equality,’ they still have the expectation that their husbands should be out there making a dime. Even if he’s been laid off and is looking for jobs, she might be passive-aggressive,” Nelson says. “When we talk about these traditional sex roles, it’s not just men who buy into them. Women buy into them, too.”

What to do
Be aware of gender boundaries — and how they are increasingly more outdated, but nonetheless difficult to penetrate.

Realize what is happening, and that you are not alone. Push past that resistance, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If a man in your life has been laid off, offer help. The worst thing is to be dismissive, with statements like, “Get over it.”

“Be aware that this man is going through a very deep and painful change. Like any sensitive, loving person, give them space to have their feelings without taking it personally,” Mead-Shikaly says.

Draw emotions out of him and encourage him to find someone to talk to, such as an issue-specific men’s group, coach or counselor. Talking in a non-hierarchical circle can be healing.

“Women don’t realize how much pain men carry in their bodies,” Mead-Shikaly says. “I’ve worked with thousands of men. The grief that lives in men’s bodies is like a river. I’ve had so many men say to me, ‘I’m afraid if I start to cry, I may never stop.’ When we isolate and internalize, all we do is add torrent to that river.”

— By Aimee Heckel

By the numbers

10.1 million — Firms nationwide that are 50 percent or more owned by women.
13 million — People are employed by these businesses.
$1.9 trillion — Sales generated by these businesses as of 2008.
One in five — Businesses with revenues of $1 million or more are owned by a woman.
Nearly half — Of the American workforce is women.
76 percent — Of Americans say it’s positive for society that women are half of the workers.

But still …
77 cents — Is the amount women earn to every dollar men earn.
15 companies — On the Fortune 500 list were run by women executives in 2008.
86 percent — Of women say they do the majority of the housework and childcare.
67 percent — Of working women sacrifice lunch to squeeze in other activities.

Sources: Center for Women’s Business Research, The Shriver Report, Working Mother magazine.

Source: Revenue information submitted by individual companies.

“There are currently forty-thousand described species of spiders on Earth. That is probably only half of the true species diversity. There are only forty-six to forty-seven hundred species of mammals,” explains Paula Cushing, Curator of Invertebrate Zoology at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.

I don’t know about you, but that figure makes me feel a little outnumbered.

I am spending an hour with Cushing and a couple of her eight-legged associates, learning more about spiders in an attempt to resolve my “relationship issues.” I have had a love-hate relationship with spiders from the get-go. Well, minus the “love” part.

Whether they are hanging out in my shower yearning to reenact that scene from “Psycho,” running across my face as I turn out the light, or lurking in the dark corners of my basement, I have always believed they are out to get me. Perhaps it is shameless species profiling, but their multitudinous eyes, disturbing legs and bulbous abdomens scream “dubious,” “shifty” and “treacherous” to me.

“I have no idea why people have a fear of spiders,” Cushing notes. “It’s really an irrational fear. We’re thousands of times bigger than these animals. If you’re queasy around them, you can just stomp on them. It doesn’t take that much effort to take control of the situation.”

Obviously, Cushing doesn’t advocate stomping on spiders, but any encounters I’ve had with them have generally ended with only one of us alive. When forced to dispatch them to their eternal damnation, I favor non-squishing methods. I learned at a young age that it is not diamonds but a stockpile of Raid that is a girl’s best friend. At least if you are a girl growing up in a basement bedroom. If no Raid or other bug spray is available, hairspray does well in a pinch (Viva la Aquanet! What? It was the 80’s!).

Maybe I’ve been out of line. Do I feel the beginnings of a change of heart? I mean, Cushing is the coolest scientist I’ve ever met. Decked out in spider web shirt and jewelry, surrounded by cabinets stuffed with specimens, walls covered with spider movie posters and computer screens displaying enlarged images of spider genitalia – or spider porn as the pros refer to it – she exudes logic and reason. And her words of logic are this: Spiders are not out to get me.

If that is true, why do they hang out in my shower? According to Cushing, they don’t want to stab me with tiny butcher knives as though they are Anthony Perkins. They just want a drink. “Spiders like to stay clean, but they aren’t using showers to do that,” Cushing explains. “They seek out your shower because they are seeking out the moisture. If you’re really a friend to spiders, you’ll give them a little droplet of water so they can get on their way.”

Cushing loves spiders, an essential trait for an arachnologist one would assume. “Spiders are constantly making me laugh,” she says. We talk a bit about the common spiders one might find in or around a home in Colorado, and she describes them with as much excitement as I would describe a Balenciaga gown at ninety-nine percent off.

“One that you’ll find in your garden or basement is Dysdera crocata. It has sort of a rusty red head and a grayish abdomen. The legs are rusty red as well. It’s a strikingly pretty spider in terms of its color pattern. It also has very large jaws that jut out in front.” It sounds more like a bulldog than a beauty pageant winner to me, but I’m not the expert.

One of the live specimens on the table in front of us happens to be a spider common on Colorado porches. Cushing removes it from its current residence, a plastic container, and allows it to frolic about on her hands. It makes a leap for the table, but to my great relief, it is quickly apprehended. “In the fall, I get a lot of questions about orb weaving spiders because of this species, Araneus gemmoides. These spiders are out there all the time, but earlier in the year, they are immature. People might notice the webs, but they don’t necessarily notice the spider until this time of year when it becomes mature and really, really large. This is actually a small animal,” she says, displaying the humongous orb weaver to me. “Sometimes they can get twice this size.”

Suddenly infused with bravery I ask, “Can I hold it?” Cushing quickly consents. She instructs me to place my hand on the table and then deposits the orb weaver upon it. The spider promptly attempts to run off. Cushing herds it back and it runs off again. Apparently, spiders are not like cats. This one did not gravitate towards the least friendly person in the room. I felt the sting of rejection but, amazingly, not of fangs.

“Spiders are very unlikely to bite humans,” Cushing informs me. “Regardless of what you hear in the popular media, what you see on the Internet, what you read in newspapers, spiders are very reluctant to bite humans. When bites do occur, someone has accidentally pressed down on a spider that might be hiding under a board or log, behind a cabinet, maybe under a box. If you press down on it, it’s going to feel pretty provoked and threatened. That’s when bites occur. They are provoked into biting to save their own skin.”

A few days later at the Butterfly Pavilion, the curator, Mary Ann Hamilton, echoes that sentiment. “We’ve been open a long time, and we’ve never had any visitors bitten.”

I have come to the Butterfly Pavilion to hold the famous Rosie, a Chilean rose hair tarantula beloved by Colorado children. I reason that if she has never bitten a child, she is unlikely to bite me.

Hamilton places Rosie gently in my hands. “If you’re feeling really uncomfortable, let me know and I’ll just take her away,” she reassures me. She takes great care to point out Rosie’s most endearing characteristics: her fuzzy mustache, her little eyes, her eyelashes, the fact that she never has to shave her legs.

I am just getting used to the feel of Rosie in my hands when Hamilton exclaims, “Oh! Stay still. She may want to poop on you… sorry about that!” The spider poop resembles chunky chocolate milk. However, having it in my hand is decidedly less disturbing than observing my nephew’s projectile vomiting of chocolate milk all over the kitchen floor shortly before Thanksgiving dinner. That kid would make a great antipersonnel grenade. Pump him full of chocolate milk, give him a shake, then chuck him over the wall into the enemy’s camp… but I digress.

I hold Rosie for fifteen minutes without a single bite – not even a nibble. In fact, she seems to like me. “Rosie is quite comfortable with you,” says Hamilton.  “You can see she is pulling her legs in a little bit, and that’s a sign of getting comfortable and cuddling in. I think you’ve made a new friend. She may not want to stay with us. She may want to go home with you!”

Since my time with Cushing, Hamilton and, of course, Rosie, I have given up shellacking spiders with hair styling products. In fact, I have become a regular cocktail waitress to the spiders in my home instead, offering them little droplets of water whenever I happen to spot one. I feel strangely pleased when they drink them. I would expand the menu to include tiny mohitos and daiquiris, but I don’t want a bunch of unruly drunk spiders trashing my place.

— By Angela Rose.
Rose writes a column, “Facing Your Fears.” Next issue: NEED.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Jennifer Byrd and Adrian Davis received Rotary International scholarships for postgraduate education.

Byrd, of the Vocal Music Department at the University of Colorado’s College of Music, studied at the Conservatory in Hamburg, Germany. She joined the company of a regional opera house in Bavaria, and she is now a recognized soloist.

Davis, the major gifts development officer for the Denver Rescue Mission, served as a Rotary International Peace Fellow, which paid for two years of study in five countries to promote world peace.

Applications for next year’s grants are due April 15 for the Peace Fellowship and May 3 for the Ambassadorial Scholarship. For more info, visit www.rotary.org/en/StudentsAndYouth/EducationalPrograms/Pages/ridefault.aspx.

— By Aimee Heckel
Share your good news about local women at speakup@womensmag.com.

“Sometimes the design hits immediately,” says the Boulder County sculptor, nationally known for making furniture and doors. “Other times, I sit with the wood for a while, then suddenly visualize the piece.”

Shutan originally studied creative writing. (She even had a teacher tell her to “forget art.”) But she wanted to work with her hands and ended up learning from a traditional Dutch woodworking master. That’s where she crafted her first door.

Her teacher died a few weeks later — after telling her, “You don’t need me anymore. Look at you.”

Twenty-eight years later, Shutan boasts custom doors around the country, including many throughout Boulder County. She etches movement and curves into her one-of-a-kind mostly mahogany doors; she wants to call out the “sensuous” nature of wood. She rides the band saw like a pencil across the rugged material.

Each door takes two to four months. Her only limitation is that it must fit in the door jam, she says.

“But within that boundary, I can go quite wild,” she says. “It’s like life.”

Her doors are functional, but with abstract qualities, she says. And as with her abstract sculptures, the results always surprise her, she says.

In fact, she adds, often “the accidents are more interesting than the original idea.”

Perhaps the accidents are the secret hidden inside the wood.

Check out Shutan’s work on display at the Osmosis Gallery, 290 Second Ave., Niwot, and online at www.ashutan.com.

— By Aimee Heckel

Oster, 52, turned a domestic-violence experience into something positive by creating a nonprofit called Courage is Change. The goal: Help end the cycle of violence by opening up communication and creating stronger communities.

Since we last talked to Oster, Courage is Change has launched after-school “Red Tent” gatherings for girls at four local high schools. The meetings feature classes on all kinds of topics — from self-defense to meditation to interviewing skills — to help empower girls to make healthy choices.

Oster hopes to soon have Red Tent clubs at all Boulder Valley high schools and launch a middle school program. She also dreams of starting a Red Tent center for women of all ages and backgrounds, where women can find various offerings, such as coaching, yoga and dance classes, cooking classes and massage. To learn more, visit www.courgeischange.org.

“Women don’t have that sense of community in our lives anymore,” Oster says. “We need each other for survival.”

We asked Oster a few more questions, to get a glimpse inside her busy brain:

What is the best advice you can offer other female activists right now?
Follow your passion. I’ve had many challenges, but I look at them as something I need to learn from and move forward.

What is your life’s motto?
It’s all good. My girlfriends and I will complain to each other for hours, be in tears and end it all with, “But it’s all good.”

What inspires you?
I don’t listen to negativity. If anybody says I can’t do it, I say, “Yes, I can.” And I’ve proven that. I know I’m going to pull this off, and I know it’s going to be incredible.

— By Aimee Heckel

Instead, the group of 20 poised and pretty graduates of the John Robert Powers modeling school, in Denver, were goodwill ambassadors for the “Rush to the Rockies” celebration.

“It was so much fun,” says Kate Crowder, of Boulder. “We were busy two or three times a week, all summer long.”

Crowder joined the posse out of high school after taking some classes at the modeling school. The women sang and danced and did what she calls “corny routines” at rodeos. She also posed with actor Clint Walker and other celebrities and acted as one of the official greeters for incoming convention groups at the Union Pacific railroad station in Denver.

The posse members’ glamorous costumes included two or three variations, but Crowder’s outfit was a white Western-style blouse with pink sequins on the yoke, a short-fringed-pink-leather skirt, white cowboy boots, and a white cowboy hat. Accessories included the gun and holster, a star-shaped badge, and a pink neck scarf with black and white poodles.

In addition, each of the women was required to bring her own pink-tinted poodle on a sequined leash.
“I didn’t have a dog, so I borrowed a miniature poodle from a neighbor,” says Crowder. “I dyed him with food coloring in the bathtub, then washed it out later.”

No one seems to remember why the posse featured pink poodles, except that they were a fad of the 1950s. Poodle designs were appliquéd on skirts, and red-headed actress Lucille Ball was known for her “poodle” haircut. According to an advertisement in a New York newspaper, pink poodles even were rented to women “who only have a short time but want to make a lasting impression.”

Looking back at clippings and photos of the Pink Poodle Posse brings back good memories for Crowder.
“Just think,” she adds, “we even put Vaseline on our legs to make them shiny.”

— By Silvia Pettem
pettem@earthlink.net

Burrows, 42, of Superior, opened her own dental practice in Broomfield, Summit Dental and Orthodontics — but not after overcoming hefty struggles. Burrows, born in Columbia, survived bone cancer at age 16. She lost her right leg above the knee, and she came to the United States knowing no English.

But her resolve and passion for her career inspires us to fight for what we love. Her practice celebrated its first anniversary this summer.

We caught up with Burrows for an extra dose of inspiration:

What is the best advice you can offer other local businesswoman right now — especially in this economy?

There are opportunities in any situation. Although the economy is in a down cycle, that simply means that you need to be more focused and dedicated to the overall vision and objectives of your company. You need to persevere and work just a little bit harder, knowing that things will improve.

What inspires you?

Knowing that every day is a gift that needs to be celebrated and cherished. Waking up and knowing that I have another day to be productive and possibly help someone that needs it makes everything worthwhile.

— By Aimee Heckel

What a year it’s been here at Women’s Magazine. Just keeping up with (more accurately: trying to) Boulder County’s women would keep even Boulder runner Ana Weir (last December’s cover gal) on her toes.
This year we’ve walked with you through spring cleaning your life — and your home. Learning to let go. Crazy women thrill-seekers. We explored — and stretched — the concepts of independence and the importance of slowing down. We hoped to remind you to be thankful for the little things. And now we’re here: another year, rocked.

Here are some of our favorite quotes from 2009:

January
“The trick to growth is not stepping out on a limb, but trusting the branch will materialize under your feet as you step into thin air.”
— Sylvia Pelcz-Larsen, Close Up

“Change your beliefs and you’ll change your thoughts. Change your thoughts and you’ll change your habits. Change your habits and your life opens to unlimited possibility.”
— Gail Lynne Goodwin, “Change: It’s an Inside Job”

February
“Start smiling at yourself inside. The way you’ve always dreamed a lover would smile at you. An inner smile that will make you feel like you felt with your first crush, or in those more ecstatic moments with art or nature or children or a husband.”
— Francine Juhasz, “Make Yourself Your Valentine”

“The difference between an average artist and a great one is being able to tell the difference between an accident and an answer.”
— Grant McMartin, “Make Your Own Luck”

“Serendipity happens to us all every day. The key to the frequency and importance is simple: Pay attention.”
— Gail Lynne Goodwin, “Be Inspired”

“Seek the balance between acknowledging moments of chance and moments of chance-to-do-something-more.”
— Kimberly Jonas, “Coincidences and Control”

March
“You cannot move forward until you release the anchors of your past. And in that, release is a great gift. It’s the first ingredient to evolution — as a woman and as a society.”
— Aimee Heckel, letter from the editor

“When you remember that you are the creator of your whole life and that nothing is ever wrong, you have an amazing advantage when it comes to creating the life of your dreams. Your life is your most magnificent work of art.”
— Sandi Zamurut, “Let Go and Love You”

“Moving forward in life is like bungee jumping — the first step is the only one that matters. We don’t have to know how to make a dream happen.”
— Gail Lynne Goodwin, “Letting Go of the ‘How’”

April
“Choose hope over fear. And if fear shows up, choose hope over fear, again.”
— Jodi Feinhor-Dennis, letter to the editor

“Boxing is a very existential sport. Just like life, it requires training. It requires discipline. It requires hard work. It requires courage. It can end at any moment.”
— Dave Gaudette, Men We Love

“Adversity can be turned to opportunity simply by adjusting our perception and attitude.”
— Gail Lynne Goodwin, “Deep Spring Cleaning”

May
“The best way to show you’re a survivor is to move your body.”
— Colleen Cannon, Women Acting Up

June
“We learn so much more from our mistakes than our successes.”
— Carol Frank, Close Up

“I tell you, the worst thing you can do is take someone for granted.”
— Karl Matz, “For the Long Haul”

July
“Defining independence by materialistic means makes you, in turn, dependent on those very means: on money, on your job, on your house — whatever it is that you use as a measuring stick for your independence, and, by extension, identity.”
— Aimee Heckel, letter from the editor

“A true independence woman lives the life of her heartfelt dreams, lives in constant gratitude and is in a constant state of giving and receiving in the beautiful world she has created.”
— Tara Page, Girl Talk

“There exists in every woman a hidden erotic creature, the center of aliveness, self-expression and sensuality.”
— Lisa Fasullo, “Don’t Kill Aphrodite”

August
“I can be connected and independent. I can be self-sufficient and yielding.”
— Dawn Beck, letter to the editor

“We heal when we rest.”
— Liz Canavan, “Simply You”

“How we move internally in how we move through life. If you know where all your bones are in space, you can carry out your intention more clearly in the world.”
— Erin Ferguson, “Don’t be a Martyr”

“You really have to love yourself before you can be in love with someone else or be in love with your career.”  — Heidi Ganahl, Close Up

“Everybody needs to know their bra size and what the federal dollars go to.”
— Joellen Raderstorf, Women Acting Up

September
“When I die, the only thing that will be left of my life is how I have affected the people around me, and thus the world.”
— Hollie Hirst, Girl Talk

“Anything that is true — pure to itself — is beautiful. Everybody finds babies so beautiful. That’s because they haven’t been clouded or made cynical; they are so pure in their joy.”
— Renu Kansal, “More than a Pretty Face”

October
“True freedom is free will. The chance to mess up, or rise up, and make your own crazy, fake-blood-splattered pathway through life.”
— Aimee Heckel, letter from the editor

“That’s the thing about transformation: It asks us to take a leap of faith, with a willingness to suspend the rational mind that thinks it knows the most logical steps to our goal.”
— Kimberly Jonas, “An Invitation to Transformation”

“Believe a man has a certain dignity he must uncover in himself, and help others do the same.”
— Diane Magliolo, “Five Women Who Light the Community”

“Little kids seem to know how to do all kinds of things we grownups forget.”
— Erika Stutzman, “The Learning Curve”

“There is a tender feel to birth and death — both a powerful reminder of the beauty of life and friendship in between.”
— Priscilla Dann-Courtney, “Radiating Friendship”

November
“Over time, as we feed that part of ourselves that is satisfied with what is, we stem the erosion that comes from our co-dependent relationship with the should have’s and must do’s in our lives. Our gratitude becomes the fuel that balances and sustains us, even during the busiest and most pressing of times.”
— Kimberly Jonas, “It All Adds Up”

These are the questions I ask myself, repeatedly, during the weeks leading up to my appointment with Joe Miller, tattoo artist and co-owner of Old Larimer Street Tattoo.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Now that I’m actually in the tattoo parlor, perched awkwardly on the chair and trying to remain perfectly still (my heart thumping wildly) as Miller sketches a rough concept on my back for placement, all I can think is “Go big or go home.” As soon as Miller and I began discussing what I wanted, I realized a minuscule black cat in the center of my right shoulder would be exactly that.

I’m as nervous as a long-tailed feline in a room full of rocking chairs, as the expression goes, but I am fully committed. Miller has explained how tattoo art has changed over the years, and how the concept of “what a tattoo is” has changed, as well. He has shown me some of his work, and has described to me his vision for the piece he feels would suit me. He has expressed his belief that the best tattoos “fill the space.” He is obviously talented and passionate about his art, and I feel I can trust him not to steer me wrong.

I’m a whole lot tougher than I used to be, but I’m still nervous about the potential for pain.

“How bad is this going to hurt?” I ask.

“Oh, it will only feel like you’re being massaged with a red hot soldering iron,” Miller replies.

He’s joking. He explains that the degree of discomfort will vary depending on location, tools and techniques. He advises me to sit still, and breathe in slowly and deeply through my nose and out my mouth throughout the process, both to help with pain management as well as enable him to get into a rhythm and ensure a more perfect result.

He starts.

It’s tough at first to remain still and breathe. After an hour, I’ve decided it feels a lot like the shock knives we sometimes train with in Krav Maga — only being shocked repeatedly in the same area over and over. That’s certainly more painful than being smothered by kittens, but decidedly less painful than being stuck in an airport full of screaming infants.

I have a lot of time to think during the next three and a half of hours, so I think about why I am here, the “fears” I am facing. Does this hurt? Yes. Does it involve needles? Yes, though they’re not as scary looking as I had imagined. Is there blood involved? Yes, but Miller is good at keeping the paper towels he is using to wipe it off out of my sight.

I hate blood. I know it must flow through my veins, and that’s fine. But it needs to stay in there. I don’t appreciate it when it finds a way out, like after the husband opens the shower curtain to grab his toothbrush, letting in frigid morning air, and I end up shaving the tops off a leg full of goose bumps. Or when it is forcibly withdrawn by needle for a blood test, no matter how “gentle” the nurse may be. I’ve had to sit down to avoid fainting after incidents such as these.

According to my cardiologist, Jamie Doucet of the Colorado Cardiovascular Center (by far the cutest cardiologist in Boulder; I am talking the George Clooney as Dr. Ross kind of cute, girls), this isn’t that unusual. However, it’s easily avoided. Don’t stick yourself with needles and try not to bleed.

Miller announces that he’s just about finished, so I prepare myself to look at the final product. Will I love it?
Will I hate it? Will I have to start saving for an expensive tattoo removal procedure, or avoid wearing anything backless for the rest of my life? Will small children run away screaming when they see me?

I’m thrilled.

Miller explains what he’s done to flesh out the original concept, including the gorgeous shading that gives the large black cat dimension and the shadowy cats in the background that add depth to the piece. It’s unlike anything I originally imagined, and yet it’s somehow perfectly me.

If you are unable to sit still for extended periods of time, or have a very low tolerance for discomfort, you probably won’t enjoy getting a tattoo — or at least not a large one. But overall, any pain is really not that bad.

I didn’t faint, I didn’t cry, and my shoulder is now a one-of-a-kind work of art. Am I finally “cool?” I don’t know — but I can always go stand in a walk-in freezer.

Are you ready to get your own one-of-a-kind tattoo? Consider the artists at Old Larimer Street Tattoo in Denver (303-296-0447, www.larimertattoo.com). Get your tattoo before the end of the year and the artists will donate a portion of the proceeds to www.thinkhumanity.org, an organization created to help refugees in Africa.

Tips for your best tattoo

Tattoos are no longer just for sailors and biker gang members. How do I know? My own mother has a tattoo (and as far as I know, she’s never sailed).

According to Joe Miller, tattoo artist and co-owner of Old Larimer Street Tattoo, gone are the days of tattoos of “a dragon with a castle” (unless that’s what you want, of course). Modern tattoo artists are pushing the limits of their art (just watch a show like “LA Ink”), and creating more three-dimensional and even photo-realistic designs.

If you think you’re ready to express yourself with an artistic masterpiece of the flesh, here are a few things to keep in mind.

It’s a commitment. Tattoos are forever. Sure you might be able to get rid of it after many expensive hours of surgical laser treatment, but who has that kind of time (or money)? If you change your mind more frequently than the Colorado weather, then a tattoo may not be for you. Miller makes an excellent point when he says, “A tattoo is not like a T-shirt. You do not take it off.”

Consider placement carefully. While tattoo art has become increasing more accepted in our society, it may still be frowned upon in some workplaces. So unless you’re a Maori warrior, a facial tattoo is likely not your best bet. Think about how often you want your tattoo to show, and how easy you want to be able to “hide” it when/if necessary.

The artist makes all the difference. How many people have been tattooed in garages in South Dakota during the Sturgis biker rally? How many have picked a tattoo out of a book, only to meet someone else with the same design? How many are walking around unaware of what those Chinese symbols tattooed on their lower back really mean? Choose your artist carefully. Ask for referrals from people you meet with tattoos that you admire (believe me, once you’ve decided to get a tattoo, you will start paying attention to everyone else’s tattoos — maybe even to the point of being creepy). Ask to see pictures of other work the artist has done.

Communicate with visuals whenever possible. Would you go to a new stylist and ask for a “playful but serious” haircut without a picture of what you have in mind? I didn’t think so. Nor should you go to your tattoo artist and ask for something “retro cool” or “painterly” without examples of what you mean.

Descriptions such as these can mean a hundred different things. As you’re discussing your artist’s ideas for your piece, ask him or her for examples of the techniques and styles they’re suggesting. When it’s going to be permanent, it’s best to be on the same page.

Dress comfortably and appropriately. If you’re getting a tattoo of any size, you’re going to be sitting still for a while. Don’t wear that new pair of super-skinny jeans if they prevent blood from reaching your brain when you sit down. If you’re getting a tattoo on your back and you don’t want to hang out shirtless, wear a halter or tube top that exposes the area where the tattoo will be placed. (Note: Tube tops are fashion don’ts under any other circumstances, unless you’re vacationing in a tropical region and maybe not even then.)

Plan ahead. Spending two weeks tracking rattlesnakes in the Arizona desert? Don’t get a tattoo right before you go. You need to keep it out of direct sunlight for at least three weeks (and always wear sunscreen on it after that). Joining the local swim team? Get your tattoo after swim season, or at least three weeks before.

Chlorine is a definite “not to wear” until your art is completely healed. You’re also going to want to avoid repeated stretching of the tattooed area until it is healed, so tailor your workouts accordingly.

Follow all care instructions. My artist advised me to wash the tattooed area three to five times daily, followed by a thin application of vitamin-enriched ointment for five days. Your artist will give you detailed care instructions as well. Ask questions about anything you do not understand.

— By Angela Rose
Rose writes a column, “Facing Your Fears.” In December, she faces her fear of eight-legged zombies (otherwise known as spiders).