Bev and Bill Spotz

From her 1961 Billboard hit, Patsy Cline sang, “You want me to act like we’ve never kissed, you walk by, and I fall to pieces.” The Marvelletes pleaded, “Please Mr. Postman, look and see if there’s a letter in your bag for me.”

Nearly 50 years later, lyrics about “disco sticks,” womanizers and naughty nights in Vegas fill the pop music airways.

As music portrays, the dating scene has changed drastically — such a metamorphosis that the romance of the past has little affiliation with hookups of today. From kisses to she-wolves, from love letters to text messages, from falling to pieces to love drunk, college-age dating has transformed into an unrecognizable culture from that of previous decades.

See how the popular nuisances of dating culture have changed through the decades in the opinions of these local men and women.

1961: Coke dates and chaperones
The first time Bev Spotz met Bill, he arrived at her sorority house to take out one of her friends.
“You had to call on the intercom when someone came to pick you up,” Bev Spotz says. “My friend wasn’t ready, so I went downstairs to tell whoever it was that she’d be a few minutes. I went back upstairs and said, ‘Who is that who’s picking you up? He’s so cute!’”

Later, that same friend introduced Bill and Bev and left them alone to finish their “Coke date.”
As Bill Spotz, now 67, of Boulder, recalls, “A Coke date is an afternoon date to see if you like each other — very non-committal.”

The two met in 1961 at Iowa State University’s student union. Their Coke date allowed them to chat and see if their personalities matched.

“We started dating almost immediately and got pinned and unpinned 11 times,” Bev Spotz, 69, says.

Pinning, associated with the collegiate Greek system, symbolizes a couple’s commitment.  As for their 11 unpinnings, the Spotzes say they cleansed all the fights out of their system before marriage.

Other characteristics of ‘60s dating: A sense of a looming Big Brother of chaperones and limitations. In the dorms, girls trotted back at 10 p.m. to make curfew. No boys had permission to walk upstairs to the second floor to the girls’ bedrooms. Conversations occurred in the lobby or living room.

Instead of bar hopping and beer pong, for entertainment, the Spotzes danced, attended ballgames, strolled on long walks and visited each other’s families.

1985: Cliques and house phones
Andreas and Paula Gerthe, both 40, of Lafayette, met in Boulder in front of The Sink, formerly known as Herbie’s Deli, in 1985. Three weeks later they were engaged.

“I didn’t date a lot. I was very selective. I always thought that I will only date a girl if I can see myself marrying her,” says Andreas Gerthe.

Paula Gerthe says she knew after one week that he was the one.

The couple feels like the dating scene then was similar to today — except a few vital differences.

“There were a lot of cliques; if you were a jock, you dated a jock. If you were in the band, you dated someone in the band,” Andreas Gerthe says.

Then there’s technology. In the ‘80s, the only phones people used were connected to cords and no one had heard of the Internet. Online dating didn’t exist. Neither did Facebook or text conversations.

“When guys use technology, it really takes away the personal aspect,” Andreas Gerthe says.
Dating intentions have also become clouded, Paula Gerthe says.

“We also didn’t do the coffee thing. We went out for dinner; it was specific and intentional,” she says.

2010: Facebook chat and texting woes
The social demands of the modern relationship may be outpacing the most technologically connected generation yet, according to some local college students.

“It must have been nice in the older days when people didn’t have text messaging and all that kind of stuff, because it just seems like everything was so much more genuine,” says 20-year-old Cassie Owens, of Lakewood.

She thinks dating has become fast-paced, yet less straightforward.

According to Dorian-Michelle Smith, a 20-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, “You’re overly dependent on communicating all the time. If you don’t get a message from that person within 24 hours you feel like, ‘What is this? Are they trying to just blow me off?’”

Messages sent through texting or Internet chats can be easily misconstrued, she says. Sarcasm can be easily mistaken for an insult, or a serious question can be taken as a joke. Facebook chat has become the new way to ask someone out.

“There are 1,000 ways to communicate,” she says.

Owens and Smith both wish that dating in their age group would slow down a little and revert to earlier dating traditions: a simple dinner and a movie.

“Our whole culture of dating has changed. We don’t go out on real dates anymore,” Smith says.

— By Caroline Seib, Meghan Tschanz and Kate Klein

On the Web
Want more on this topic? Check out www.findingbeausinboulder.wordpress.com.  
Here, you can see a multimedia slideshow of dating in the college scene (“A sneak peek inside the college dating scene”) and a video interview with the Gerthes.

Keep your eyes on these 10 women, all reader-nominated because they have found a way to live life fully as they pursue what they love — whether it is dancing, giving massages or providing investment advice.

We don’t need to see these women plastered on the cover of “Forbes” to recognize how they epitomize success. They represent a vivacious part of the community and deserve props for their devotion to their business or craft.    

1. Niara Eustace, 35, of Boulder
Founder and previous co-owner of Streetside Studios, www.streetsidedance.com

Niara Eustace

In January of 2007, Eustace founded Streetside Studios, a Boulder-based studio focusing on dance foundations, technique, character work, hip-hop and choreography with meaning.

Eustace, who grew up in Europe as a ballet dancer, says she opened the studio to provide a non-intimidating space where people could cultivate their inner artist.

“We really wanted the dance community here to have a place to express themselves artistically,” Eustace says.

Starting in 2010, Eustace decided to branch off to teach her own private classes, separate from Streetside. She is gearing up to start a smaller dance company of her own.

In addition to classes for kids, Streetside offers adult classes: hip-hop, ballet, modern fusion and salsa for $10 a class. Contact Eustace at niaradance@gmail.com.

What inspires you?
For dance: everything. Usually it’s music for movement. I learn a lot from watching other people, other dances, even kids. If I’m ever feeling blocked, I’ll put on music and watch my 3-year-old daughter dance. Kids hear, they feel and they move. They don’t think. Thinking gets in the way.

What’s your motto?

I have a goal for how I try to live every day: to live simply, not get caught up in all the drama and focus on what really matters.

What is something about you people would never guess?
A lot of people don’t know I spent 18 years of my life in Belgium and speak French. Or that I spent four months doing an internship in Paris in a neuroscience research lab.

What’s in your purse?
Kids’ socks, diapers, food, necklaces, four different kinds of lotion, nail-polish remover pads, flyers from the studio, window cleaner — really, everything.

2. Elyse Foster, 55, of Boulder
Principal of Harbor Financial Group, www.harborfin.com

Elyse Foster

Now the principal of the company, Foster pursues another dream: connecting with youth. She recently created a paid internship for recent graduates to work at Harbor Financial Group and learn the ins and outs of investment advising.

“I designed a training program where for two years I teach them everything I possibly can about wealth management up to ownership,” Foster says.

While driven in her career, Foster says she’s just as passionate about her family.

What inspires you?
I like helping people. I also love the challenge of putting all these separate pieces together and all the disciplines that go into a person’s life, not only financial but also personal. And this whole next generation. I am very passionate about bringing these young people along.

What’s your motto?
I am my own best competition. I really drive myself — I’d like to think in a good way — at every level. I don’t look around at what other people are doing.

What is something about you people would never guess?
I am a more vulnerable person than it might seem. I’m a very creative person, but I’m also a very private person.

What’s in your fridge?
Lots of organic fruits and vegetables. Soy milk. A bottle of white wine, almost always. And cheese. I like really lovely cheeses.

3. Traci Brown, 35, of Boulder
Personal trainer for your mind, www.tracibrown.com

Traci Brown

At the end of her athletic career as a three-time United States collegiate cycling champion and member of the U.S. cycling team, Brown realized her next path involved the mental aspect of cycling.

“What was going on in my mind was the primary factor that determined my success,” Brown says.

Trained in neuro-linguistics, huna (a Hawaiian spiritual healing practice) and hypnosis, Brown now helps clients get at the unconscious roots of their problems to make fast, profound changes in their lives. While many of her clients are athletes, others are also people struggling with chronic pain, depression, abuse, neglect or phobias. Recently, Brown published her book, “Mastering Magical Persuasion,” which discusses unconscious persuasion in body language. It can only be purchased through her website.

What inspires you?
Excellence inspires me. I love to see people who are really good at what they do.

What is your motto?
Excuses are the tools that allow you to deny the truth and destroy opportunity.

What is something about you most people would never guess?
I dance Hawaiian hula. It gives me a little bit of aloha here on the mainland.

What is in the back seat of your car?
I have a pickup, and that’s where my dog lies.

4. Jeannette McVoy, 63, of Lafayette
Distributor for Send Out Cards, www.sendoutcards.com/mcvoy

Jeanette McVoy

After a 39-year career in nursing, Jeannette McVoy retired and began selling greeting card software through Send Out Cards, a company that prints and mails cards after the user creates them online.

“Now I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want,” McVoy says.

While businesses use the greeting cards as a relational tool for clients and employees, McVoy personally uses the software to connect to relatives she had not seen in years. She believes working for Send Out Cards encourages her to break through her shyness and become a better businessperson, wife, mother and grandmother.

What inspires you?
I love what Zig Ziglar says: “You can have everything you want in life if you help others get what they want.” I love helping people and showing people appreciation.

What is your motto?
I wake up every day and send an unexpected card to someone I care about without any intention of getting anything back.

What is something about you people would never guess?
At the age of 59, I did my first cross-country ski marathon in St. Moritz, Switzerland. I am into health and working out every day.

What’s in the back seat of your car?
I have two car seats for my grandchildren.

5. Leslie Jones, 39, of Longmont
President and founder of the Inneractive Institute, www.inneractiveinstitute.com

Leslie Jones

Formerly known as Jones Associates, the Inneractive Institute aims to educate, coach and provide training programs for business leaders, consultants and other clients who seek to fulfill their dreams and intentions. Clients range from top-level managers to yoga instructors to legal firms.

“Every day when I’m interacting with prospects, clients, and colleagues… I get to experience human potential,” Jones says. “And there’s such a richness to the relationships in my community. It’s a gift.”

What inspires you?
Deeply connecting with other people, as well as witnessing and guiding other people to see their greatness.

What’s your motto?
It’s something like, “This is it.” This is your life. Live it now. My life purpose is being loving and alive. The power in love and living on the edge. There is so much available when you’re present to the moment and the day. I love this quote: “The way that we spend our days is the way that we spend our lives.”

What is something about you people would never guess?
I used to be terrified to be a leader and public speaker. Terrified. During my training to become a presenter, I used to not be able to eat for 24 hours.

What is something from your past that you just can’t get rid of?
I have my teddy bear from when I was an infant. It’s red and white. The other things are stories. My mom was a great storyteller.

6. CJ McCarthy, 52, of Niwot
Physician’s assistant at Dakota Ridge Family Medicine in Boulder

CJ McCarthy

McCarthy started practicing as a physician’s assistant in 1983. She chose her career because she craves changing scenarios that require her to be constantly on her toes and resourceful. She also wanted to be a mom without having her career engulf her. With her patients, McCarthy aims to create a safe zone where they can be open and honest about their problems.
“I call myself a human troubleshooter,” McCarthy says. “You can’t judge anyone. You just have to absorb, observe and help.”

What inspires you?
Challenges and variety.

What is your motto?
Life is sweet. Never give up.

What is something about you people would never guess?
I have a very cool, very special whistle. I’ve never found anyone who can do it quite like I do. I use my whistle to get little kids to trust me. I also white-water kayak, snowboard, sing and dance. I sang with Ars Nova Chamber Singers (a professional vocal ensemble in the Denver and Boulder area) for years. My mom was an opera singer.

What’s in your purse?
I always keep a journal with me. I always carry my laptop and all the cords and a digital camera.

7. Gail Kanemoto Hogsett, 57, of Longmont
Co-owner of Walters & Hogsett Fine Jewelers, www.waltersandhogsett.com

Gail Kanemoto Hogsett

“Our business is a happy business,” Hogsett says. “People come here because they are in love. They want to celebrate life with us for their different occasions. Just being a part of their special times is what makes it so enjoyable.”

What inspires you?
I’m wowed by great design. Guess that’s why HGTV is my favorite TV station, and fashion magazines are high on my list.

What’s your motto?
Following my parents’ footsteps, my motto is that whatever you do, do it to your best ability. I may not always do it the speediest way, but I give it my all.

What is something about you people would never guess?
People often comment on how organized I must be, but in reality, I am so unorganized. Guess what my New Year’s resolution is?

What’s in the back seat of your car?
There’s always something in my back seat. The most likely things are items to return to a store, a folder of coupons and there seems to always be a pile of clothes to take to the dry cleaners.

8. Julia “Jewl” Petteway, 33, of Nederland
Owner and director of Sensorielle Spa, www.sensoriellespa.com

Julia "Jewl" Petteway

After working in marketing and management, Petteway felt burnt out. At that time she received massages every week, and she started wondering what it would be like to be the masseuse. Now she is.

“I wanted to do something to help people and make people feel better instead of working all day in a cubicle under fluorescent lights,” Petteway says.

Three years after she started working at Sensorielle Spa, Petteway is now the director and owner. She loves working with her staff, which feels like a family, and seeing her clients happy. Among its services, the spa offers acupuncture, massages, skin care, facials and ayurvedic treatments (a treatment that focuses on balancing your body through special massages, skincare, body wraps and other specific methods). The spa also offers a sliding scale system, a pay-what-you-can system, on Tuesdays and Thursdays for those with limited financial means.

What inspires you?
I have a background in dance and music, so my other self is a belly dancer and a musician. A lot of where my inspiration comes from is artistic. It’s all holistic; it all comes together to inspire me, in general. Like watching dancers, teaching dance, playing music, seeing people smile is inspiring.

What is your motto?
I live my life with love. I think that love is what makes things move and what makes this world go ‘round.

What is something about you people would never guess?
I love kung fu films. I’m a big kung fu buff, and I study kung fu.

What is your latest Facebook update?
“Full moon! Aaaawooo!”

9. Deb Britton, 39, of Longmont
CEO/principal of K2 Audio, www.k2audio.com

Deb Britton

At K2 Audio, clients get help improving the way a room sounds, from changing the room’s architectural “shaping” to finding materials for optimum acoustics. K2 Audio has worked on school cafeterias, churches, theme parks — even the U.S. Senate Chamber.

“I really like the end result,” Britton says. “When you see a happy client and they say, ‘Wow this really sounds good; this is exactly what we need. I can hear exactly what I need to hear.’”

What inspires you?
I’m a people-pleaser. I like to see people happy with what I do. That just seems like one of the more important things in life.

What’s your motto?
I think you have to enjoy what you do, otherwise you’re not going to put 100 percent into it.

What is something about you people would never guess?
I am currently forming a B-52s tribute band.

What is in your refrigerator?
Pork chops, beets and a little leftover egg nog.

10. Sudi Haynie, 51, of Boulder
Master Colorist, www.sudicolor.com

Sudi Haynie

After going to school for art at Colorado State University, Haynie worked as a model in New York, Tokyo and Paris. Her biggest client in New York was Bill Blass, and she also worked for other designers such as Valentino, YSL, Oscar De La Renta, Escada, Anne Klein and James Galanos.

In her mid-30s, Haynie decided to go back to school for cosmetology to tap into her creativity. She specialized as a colorist. Haynie now works at Rumours Hair Studio in Boulder and draws from her experience.

“I love the creative aspect,” Haynie says. “I love working with color and tones. To me, there’s no reason why everyone shouldn’t have gorgeous hair. I love problem-solving.”

What inspires you?
Making a difference for people. Any kind of opportunity for people to feel better about themselves is huge.

What is your motto?
I am always saying, “Laugh as much as possible.”

What is something about you people would never guess?
Just looking, they’d never guess that I’m funny and quick-witted. I’m kind of a ham and like to pull practical jokes.

What is the last text message that you sent?
I think it was to a girlfriend last night: “I love hanging out with you. Love you, talk soon.” We hung out for a while, and I sent it to her on the way home.

— By Caroline Seib

Source: Revenue information submitted by individual companies.

WarmlyYours — Radiant floor heating
Thermostat-controlled and programmable, these electric coils can be placed under any floor surface, especially effective with tile. They can warm your entire bathroom, especially your toes. Check out www.warmlyyours.com.

Find this at Floor to Ceiling of Brighton, Evergreen Heated Floor and Tile and DreamMaker of Denver. 

Jacuzzi — Sedona steam shower
Turn your drafty, dated shower into a steamy escape with this built-in unit. The steam generator is housed in the bench, giving you a place to sit and enjoy  your shower.

— By Kristen Sotelo
Sotelo is an independent interior designer [hec: in what city?:  ]. Contact her to discuss your design projects at mrsksotelo@gmail.com.